It’s been a while, but I’m back. I had to share this post with you all because I need to get it off my chest.
I have been seeing someone for the last year and two months. When I met them I was in pretty bad shape.
I was having really bad anxiety attacks. I was feeling lost. I felt trapped in my mind and I couldn’t think past the current moment. I was depressed, sad, and angry. I felt I had no one to talk to.
Then I met my person. The one who helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel. The one who called me out on my bulls$?!+. The one I could tell me deepest darkest secrets too and not feel judged. The one that encouraged me, consoled me, and made me feel seen and heard.
During the last year this person saw me at my lowest and still stood with me as I got myself together. They were there for me when I made the decision to file for divorce. They were there when I took a leap of faith and opened my yoga studio in the midst of a pandemic. They were there when I felt like a horrible mom. They were there to help me unpack lots of childhood trauma, some that I knew and some that I didn’t. They were there to help me on this healing journey.
Although we only saw each other once a month via video chat, this was one of the best relationships I didn’t know I needed.
This relationship gave me the tools to calm my anxiety. It taught me how to put myself first so that I could be a better mother and business owner. This relationship taught me a lot about who I am and what I want out of life. This relationship was right on time.
So now I have the tools to cope with my anxiety. I have tools to deal with grief. I have learned how to forgive. I have coping tools for those moments mom guilt creeps up on me. I know that I determine my happiness. I know how to set healthy boundaries.
Everyday is not rainbows and sunshine, but I know how to feel what I feel in the moment, analyze it, deal with it, let it go, and move forward. And it is all because of this one person.
I know by now you are like “Who the hell is this person?” Lol.
This person is my therapist.
During our session today she asked me how I felt about my original goals that we set when we first started. I feel that over the last year I have evolved into the woman that I always knew was there, but just didn’t know how to set her free. My therapist told me that it is my time to fly.
Although this relationship is coming to and end it will definitely be one that I cherish for the rest of my life and am a little sadden because I look forward to my monthly sessions with her. It has become one of my favorite self care activities.
On one hand I’m nervous because it’s another change that is happening in my life, but on the other hand I’m proud of me and what I have accomplished over the last year through her help and guidance. I am forever grateful for this relationship. I highly suggest seeking therapy, especially someone that looks like you and can relate to things you are going through.
So I leave you with this thought “Now it is time for you to fly and see your own strength.”
Until next time Care. Love. Repeat.